At the end of the day, when all is said and done...

Everything seems to be coming to a conclusion in my life at the moment. Our beloved Ham House project is rolling nicely into a fun but health and safety conscious event! I don't feel the urge to get student drunk all the time. University life is coming to a hault, with a high chance that I might even graduate and my house mates and I actually know what we are going to do for at least a year after we have finished. And the best part- I don't regret any of it. There is nothing in my life that I wish had been different, because, after it all, its come down to the here and now. And I'm content, happy and a little bit amazed its all turned out so blooming well! Granted, there may be times I'll think 'Oh b***er', but after the initial sense of panic/regret/another generic sad emotion, it will either be a turning point or just a small fraction into something bigger than that moment.
Keep Calm and Carry On, or, if you like: Buck up your ideas and get your arse into gear!

My own personal Nightmare.

I have a re-occurring dream. Since I was about 8 I have had this one dream which would appear every few years or so, and every time it does it scares the hell out of me!
Basically its like an old horror film, all grainy and dark. There's a scene in a laboratory where un-nameable hideous things happen. There's a creature that resembles Frankenstein's monster, and the worst bit for me, there's the being chased. And not just any chasing, I'm being chased by a ruddy great big lion. And as I hide in a giant tyre (don't ask me why there's a tyre there, it just is), and when its about to find me, I wake up. Trust me, it doesn't sound too bad, but it is when you have no escape from it! Its a horrible typical nightmare.
I had this dream again last night, and even at 21 I still got completely freaked out. so much so that I didn't even want to hang my legs over the side of the bed when I got up this morning for fear I would get pulled under.
However, I couldn't help but wonder- what does it actually mean!? especially the lion segment of my own personal hell, seeing as that lasted the longest. I rang up my mum, who has a dream book (for use of emergencies only, obviously). She had a look and this is what it said for lions in dreams...

Lion

To see a lion in your dream, symbolizes great strength, aggression and power. You will overcome your emotions and/or difficulties. As king of the jungle, the lion also represents dignity, royalty, leadership, pride and domination. You have much influence over others. You need to exercise some restraint in your own personal and social life.

To dream that you are attacked by a lion, indicates that you have many obstacles to overcome. You must resist the force that is driving you to self-destruction.

(good old google books meant i didn't have to write it down)

I found this funny really, and strangely enough I took it as a good thing. My life, like everyone elses are full of challenges, and I guess my dreams are representative of that. When I tackle whats in front of me I sleep soundly, when I don't I dream of the lion. Essentially, my head is telling me to sort it out, get things in order, and to not be a coward.
Maybe from now on, when I dream of the terrifying lion, instead of being scared I should take it as an alarm bell. From now on, when that dream rolls in my head I'm going to check my draws for any unpaid bills, see if I'm going to miss a deadline or wonder if a community event needs organising.

2 weeks to go! ek!

right oh! it is pretty much two weeks until the BIG event and it is all coming along nicely! still lots to sort out and organise but it will all be done and sorted by the time curtains are up.
everyone has/is doing a fantastic job, although there is a sense that its coming undone around the edges. we need to keep in contact and we need to keep focused! there is a little confusion generally about whats going down, take today for example. is it a meeting or is it leafleting?? everyone seems to be having different ideas! although it great that ben and jen have taken it upon themselves to organise a rehearsal schedule for their fantastic story. looking forward to getting that on its feet.
on an even better note- today i will be handing in my last ever essay! major nerves going on in my fingers...especially as i haven't finished it yet! but that's not the point- I'm going to be fecking ecstatic when i hand it in because that will mean i can spend the coming weeks of ham house and only ham house! that means undivided attention on our project! about time!
I've marked today in my diary as 'the final push' and that's exactly what it is!

generally :)

Its good to hear that our epic walk around on the 15th paid off! People are starting to get in touch with our email to see whats going down. we'll have to do it again nearer the date to remind peopel about it, and this time we really should include the saturday date to inform all about the 'Creative day'! Definitely had some aching the next day though, but worth it. Walking around Ham by Teddington lock i didn't realise how beautiful it was. You come off the main road and a few seconds later you're looking out over a wonderful park and the river. All very romantic!
everyone did a great job rectifying the leaflets at the pub, and thank you to mark for sorting out our paper routes! I don't think anyone got lost...also nice to see where the pubs are at.

Popped along to the production meeting today with Mark, Al, Paul, Patsy and Tina. I didn't have to be there apparently but stuck it out anyway and it proved very useful. Everyone was saying that it would be nice to have more communication with us as a group and also that we should draw up a 4week schedule for the 4 weeks that remain! So next meeting we'll hit that!
Over, all its all looking great. The ingenious story that Jen and Ben wrote was fantastic fun and I think everyone of all ages shall enjoy it! I look forward to seeing how the design team come up with building a goat, an oyster etc etc! Fun for all! Though major things were brought up, like power supply and quantaty of materials. It was nice to see what was being done on the other side of the line too, with tech and things...

One last thing, the events team will start putting together a running of the day, and who will be were. I know its hard, but trust us with the organisation! We're professionals...ha!
but basically its all good!

paris freeze flash mob

found this online while i was suppose to be doing a dissertation.
i know its in french and also would have no place in our event but the actual thing would be really weird to see so i thought i'd share. the music adds to the eerie...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtUNj2BNTsU&feature=related

catch up!

this is a catch up session!
1. MEXICAN NIGHT (24th march) was, i think its safe to say, a success. arrived at 10 to help out jenny and jade with transforming the su into Mexico, and it was very efficient and quick! jenny did a brilliant job and had a very clear idea of what was going to go where etc...even manged to get us some deals on drinks at the bar which was a bonus. my contribution was to create about a trillion cacti which were hung all around the room, but my favorite decoration, apart from the giant Mexican flag made out of bed sheets, was jenny herself. making yourself a waling fajita was just pure genius. in my three years i never thought i would be helping jenny stick peppers to her head. lots of fun! we also made a profit which is lovely and a relief! so well done the fund raising team. also to the design team for their design knowledge.
special thanks has to be made to Tina however, as it was very gracious of her to allow us to trust us with her room. although there were some issues with boundaries it was still very kind of her to let us in there in the first place!

2. MORRIS DANCING! too much fun! Zoe, Charlotte, Sarah and myself all made the trip into Kingston on the 29th march to join in with a group of Morris dancers. the hardest part was finding them! after arriving early we ended up arriving late because they were so hidden away. after going to the church, then the pub then to a church hall we ended up back at the church. lo and behold there they were. typical really!
after the wondering we had a lovely chat with a few of the members who wondered who we were. they all seemed very excited about our event, though i cannot say the same when they asked us to join in. I'm not going to lie, i am a bit rubbish with co ordination sometimes, so thought it best to bow out of the dancing so not to injury anyone. watching it looked fantastic, they all had smiles on there faces and if mistakes were made they were laughed off. the girls did a great job and decided i should try. i was not exactly thrilled as i set myself up for a fall, i didn't even understand the simple instructions! when it started though it just became fun. you really can't help but smile! leaping about all over the place and zig zagging around really is an enjoyable thing to do! they even trusted me with one of their baton/ stick things! i could have killed someone, but apparently baton related deaths are low in Morris dancing...
at the end i asked the guy what the dance was called. it was called 'Shepard's hay', and weirdly it comes from the village i live in, bidford upon avon! it really is a small world! of all the dances i could have been dragged into it was the one that was invented in my little village!

3. WORK. normally i hate my weekend job with a passion. seriously, it crushes your soul. however, over the last couple of weeks i have spotted things that have made it bearable! firstly there were some breakdancers across the road, and it was amazing to see them doing this incredible things. it wasn't long after they started that they gained a huge crowd around them. some of the moves they pulled were unbelievable.
next my manager decided to spend half an hour showing me videos off her mobile of her niece in a flash mob! this kid was about 12 and so were the rest of the participants. they were all dressed on sports gear and jumping around like crazy. though it wasn't jumping around really, it was a fantastic dance routine that they were performing. i was shocked to hear that it was the girl herself who had choreographed it!
if a 12year old girl can organise an impressive flash mob, I'm extremely certain that a bunch of young adults can pull our event off!

4. THE EVENT. i think now that the decision has been made to make the parade a story and to make the event a two day event is a relieving one. workshops will have less pressure on them and it seems like it has more of a purpose now. now we are going in the right direction!

photo shoot at Ham House

well a week or so ago (17/03) Siobhan, Megan, Edd and myself all popped along to ham house to do a photo shoot for the posters for our dear event. unfortunately it was only us four and i had initially worries about the photo looking empty, but Garry was fantastic and managed to round up five of people who work at ham house to help us, and he even joined in himself. he even joked that they should have their meetings like that as they talked about more important things while posing for the photo then they normally do in actual sit down meetings!
the photo itself took place around the back of the house as a magazine shoot was happening at the front of the house. cheeky gits!
bright colours were the name of the game as well and luckily the sun showed itself long enough to help with that, just enough before it started to rain again!
all in all it was a very fun and quick experience and hopefully when we do it again more of our group can join in and laugh about in a very natural photo shoot!
thanks to Christine too for making it possibly in the first place!

little message after...

in that little message completely forgot to say how well the meeting went today. a little bit of going round and round but generally it was splendidly productive, especially at the end!
the Mexican night seems like its going to be a great laugh, but we need to come up with some extra things that we can sell to make that all important cash! maybe we could do pin the tail on the donkey, and it was mentioned that we could have BBQ. posters will be going out soon, and everyone is invited!
the photo for the poster for ham house was suppose to take place last friday (12th march), but an underwhelming response ie no response, meant it had to be cancelled. thank you and sorry to siobhan for trying to sort that out. you are doing fabulously and this wednesday we'll make the photo come to life. be there at 12.30 for the close up!...well no but still i'm looking forward to it!
new format for meetings will be tried on next thursdays meeting, i kow they tend to take forever but i like to get all what the groups are doing written down in my book, however i will be trying to get this process shortened to half an hour, possibly 45 mins. but i need everyone else during that time to shhh themselves and keep questions till i have finished with that group. the rest of the time will be filled with brainstorming and PRODUCTIVE what nots! lovely. anyway, ciao for now. see you all thursday!

panic?

i have to be honest in this blog, but i know i need to appear calm as i feel a certain responsibility within the group as the 'chair', but honesty needs to come forward at some point, even if it is so i can show a variation of emotions in this blog!
sometimes i feel like I'm drowning in this all. i know i am not alone in this feeling especially as its third year. but there are moments where i look at what i need to do and for a short while its like i cannot breathe. i get panic attacks anyway, but only once in a while. and its like a mini one of those, where i can't see the woods for the trees. though after that initial 'AH!' moment i can start again.
i say this, not to make people panic themselves, but to reassure them. we all have our 'moments', its just how we hide it and the clarity that can come from the panic haze.
panic by all means, but when that's over we can all see not only what is on the last but how we can achieve it. i still believe we can pull this off, because at the end of the day its all about fecking team work! we are doing well, and even though i may have days when i feel suffocated i know i have a great team to pull me through.
at the end of the day it can be done, and we'll have silly organised fun doing it!

Well the walk around Ham House yesterday was a good refreshing thing to do and those who went agreed that it should be done again soon with everyone. I definitely forgot the main lawn section was so big! But it was nice to start placing things, even if it was in our heads.
Also took a little stroll down by the river to take a look at the man who lives a 100% recycled life. Pretty amazing looking at his home on the river and the boat behind which we all believed to be an actual garden. Impressive!
The Thai was good fun as well, it wasn't like an official meeting and it was lovely! The food was delicious and the company was entertaining, so thanks for that.

Meetings bore, design team thanks & Lund's spreadsheet cleverness

last weeks meeting (Thursday 25Th Feb) seemed to be a hard one. lots of talking over each other and private conversations, i understand that everyone wants their say but if we talk over one another we're not going to get anywhere. its important we listen to each other as someone may have a point that will solve all our problems and be a eureka moment!
also i have to apologise if I'm not always doing a great job as the 'Chair' of the meetings. i know that sometimes members think someone is talking too long or we are going around in circles but i only stop a person if i feel that the rest of the group are getting fed up- in a nice way of course!
in terms of the length of the meetings they are stretching into long hours, which can be a bit annoying i guess, but this is a big event and we need the time now to talk about these things otherwise the actual day will come and something will happen which we're not prepared for. its good to be bored in long meetings now than scared and unorganised on 'The Day'!
however, saying all that i think that everyone is doing a stella job as usual. the design team are brilliant on their Thursday 'show and tell' slot. the rest of us, me included, need to remember to bring in materials if we're asked and everyone should really stay and join in. it does seem that the meeting is over when we start to make things as its more fun and informal but its not fair if everyone were to disappear when the design team are kindly showing us what they've done.
Also mention to Charlotte and her quite epic, very impressive and brilliantly fantastical spreadsheet! it is quite something and i highly recommend that everyone takes a look. even if you don't have anything to put on it just take a look to calm yourselves if your worried about not contacting groups. not many people have got back to us but we are doing the leg work. well done Charlotte. good stuff!

talking about mingling, am very excited about the Thai tonight (monday 1st March) in Ham's Fox and Duck(?). its going to be more of an informal meeting i think and the looking around of the grounds at Ham House again will be a nice refresher. excited, just excited!

belated blog!

what a hideously long time its been since my last blog but there you go.
everything seems to be running alright at the moment, not got a panic on yet which, to me, means that we are not in over our heads currently. but we have to be careful as that could switch at any moment. communication seems to be a factor in need of improvement, also attendance. granted that people can not attend every meeting but some don't turn up at all. i believe everyone to be working hard but because information is not being passed on it appears that this is not the case. its just about communication! i think that everyone would feel happier about things if they knew all the details. remember to send emails, hand over notes, or write it down and put it in the office! but as i said we're doing good. everyone is doing a fantastic job in their areas, such as jenny and jade on funding- they are on the ball!

as for the meetings the structure of those have improved. going through the each area and then opening it up for discussion and questions. after the meeting where all that happened was arguing and talking over on another, anything is a vast improvement. and for the record I appreciate the fact the group trusts me enough to let me be the Chair of the meetings. thanks!

as the event co ordinators, charlotte, briony and myself will be getting together very soon to write up a basic plan to how the day will run. but the need to know who has been contacted is quite important for this. its not going to be a 'this is DEFINITE' but its just to give Garry and george (house managers) piece of mind that we have our act together and that we are the best people for the job. its a big responsibility and The National Trust could have given this to a 'professional' group, but they gave it to us and we need to now show them that its the best thing they've done!

i'm excited!

After nearly three weeks of non bloggng (mainly because nothing of interested has happened in my life) I'm looking frorward to the meeting today and getting back into the swing of things.
Nearly three years have flown by at university and now it all boils down to this last semester which is going to be the busiest semester ever for everyone.
Bring it on!