Thursday, 13 May 2010

At the end of the day, when all is said and done...

Everything seems to be coming to a conclusion in my life at the moment. Our beloved Ham House project is rolling nicely into a fun but health and safety conscious event! I don't feel the urge to get student drunk all the time. University life is coming to a hault, with a high chance that I might even graduate and my house mates and I actually know what we are going to do for at least a year after we have finished. And the best part- I don't regret any of it. There is nothing in my life that I wish had been different, because, after it all, its come down to the here and now. And I'm content, happy and a little bit amazed its all turned out so blooming well! Granted, there may be times I'll think 'Oh b***er', but after the initial sense of panic/regret/another generic sad emotion, it will either be a turning point or just a small fraction into something bigger than that moment.
Keep Calm and Carry On, or, if you like: Buck up your ideas and get your arse into gear!

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

My own personal Nightmare.

I have a re-occurring dream. Since I was about 8 I have had this one dream which would appear every few years or so, and every time it does it scares the hell out of me!
Basically its like an old horror film, all grainy and dark. There's a scene in a laboratory where un-nameable hideous things happen. There's a creature that resembles Frankenstein's monster, and the worst bit for me, there's the being chased. And not just any chasing, I'm being chased by a ruddy great big lion. And as I hide in a giant tyre (don't ask me why there's a tyre there, it just is), and when its about to find me, I wake up. Trust me, it doesn't sound too bad, but it is when you have no escape from it! Its a horrible typical nightmare.
I had this dream again last night, and even at 21 I still got completely freaked out. so much so that I didn't even want to hang my legs over the side of the bed when I got up this morning for fear I would get pulled under.
However, I couldn't help but wonder- what does it actually mean!? especially the lion segment of my own personal hell, seeing as that lasted the longest. I rang up my mum, who has a dream book (for use of emergencies only, obviously). She had a look and this is what it said for lions in dreams...


To see a lion in your dream, symbolizes great strength, aggression and power. You will overcome your emotions and/or difficulties. As king of the jungle, the lion also represents dignity, royalty, leadership, pride and domination. You have much influence over others. You need to exercise some restraint in your own personal and social life.

To dream that you are attacked by a lion, indicates that you have many obstacles to overcome. You must resist the force that is driving you to self-destruction.

(good old google books meant i didn't have to write it down)

I found this funny really, and strangely enough I took it as a good thing. My life, like everyone elses are full of challenges, and I guess my dreams are representative of that. When I tackle whats in front of me I sleep soundly, when I don't I dream of the lion. Essentially, my head is telling me to sort it out, get things in order, and to not be a coward.
Maybe from now on, when I dream of the terrifying lion, instead of being scared I should take it as an alarm bell. From now on, when that dream rolls in my head I'm going to check my draws for any unpaid bills, see if I'm going to miss a deadline or wonder if a community event needs organising.

Monday, 10 May 2010

2 weeks to go! ek!

right oh! it is pretty much two weeks until the BIG event and it is all coming along nicely! still lots to sort out and organise but it will all be done and sorted by the time curtains are up.
everyone has/is doing a fantastic job, although there is a sense that its coming undone around the edges. we need to keep in contact and we need to keep focused! there is a little confusion generally about whats going down, take today for example. is it a meeting or is it leafleting?? everyone seems to be having different ideas! although it great that ben and jen have taken it upon themselves to organise a rehearsal schedule for their fantastic story. looking forward to getting that on its feet.
on an even better note- today i will be handing in my last ever essay! major nerves going on in my fingers...especially as i haven't finished it yet! but that's not the point- I'm going to be fecking ecstatic when i hand it in because that will mean i can spend the coming weeks of ham house and only ham house! that means undivided attention on our project! about time!
I've marked today in my diary as 'the final push' and that's exactly what it is!